I desperately need a life…..

As children, we hear things we are not meant to hear see things we are not meant to see and say things that should be kept secrets, but when is enough enough…. When do the sounds and sites become something that Could ruin our Utopia… Our family’s happiness. I am forced to go to school and hide the pain and worry that I have on the inside with smiles and laughter. I don’t want to have to hold everything I know inside, but if I speak the truth destruction will become my reality.How can I possibly choose between two people that I love.’even if one is wrong forsaking the other just wouldn’t feel right. As the saying goes, whats done in the dark will always come to the light, but I am worried about the inevitable…the unavoidable….the destruction soon to come. So now I am faced with the burden of sitting back and watching the unfortunate events play out and my world crumble, while my eyes fill with tears and my stomach clinches. Nothing will ever be the same since I saw the things that weren’t meant for me to see and I listen to the things that I weren’t supposed to hear. I should’ve stayed in a little kids place…i should’ve stayed in my utopia.

Enough sad talk and spilling of emotions! Showing the happier side of me is what I’m used to

Waiting for that special person… Even if he’s not the “one”

Not desperate… Just kinda lonely

This is what my heart looks like, and every time someone hurts my feelings the thorns get deeper and deeper…

Perfect description of how I feel

My day at school was pretty normal, it was actually better than it usually is… Until I found out that I was the target of an insane person. In my mind im still trying to figure out what I did to this person that made them hate me, but I guess some things are kent to stay a mystery. I try so hard to be a good dignified person and not to sink into a dark lonely place, but when I sit and think about my life I feel so alone. I ask myself do I have any REAL friends and does anyone really love me, and even though I might be wrong in my mind the answer to both of those questions are no. Things like this drive me straight into a dark place that drives me crazy, and all I can think to myself is my sanity is slowly but surely slipping away…. Is there any help for me?

As many times as I try to forget the mark u left
I can’t forget your love and it’s depth
I hate being lonely
I’m determined not to be dependent
But because of u and the hurt you’ve caused my soul has a dent
Love is blind and a battlefield
But why was I the first person to get shot down in the war
I want to love again but my hearts still sore- Shamia